live telemetry

Status

This page is the site taking its own pulse. Nothing below is hardcoded — presence comes from a Durable Object at the edge, performance numbers from real visitors' browsers, and the deploy stamp from the build that's serving you this very page. How it's built →

—people on the site right now
(including you)

—Cloudflare edge that served you this page

—running deploy

—MCP tool calls served — try one

—signatures on the guestbook wall

—your connection to this page

Web Vitals — real visitors, not a lab

Every visit reports its own LCP, CLS, INP, and TTFB back to the site via a tiny beacon. These are p75 values over the last — real pageviews — the same statistic Google uses for Core Web Vitals. A Lighthouse run flatters; field data doesn't.

LCP—largest contentful paint · good ≤ 2.5s

CLS—cumulative layout shift · good ≤ 0.1

INP—interaction to next paint · good ≤ 200ms

TTFB—time to first byte · good ≤ 800ms

How this works

No status-page vendor, no cron, no origin server. The numbers live where the site lives: a single Durable Object holds the WebSocket presence room, the atomic counters, and a rolling window of vitals samples; the Worker reads your request's cf object to tell you which of Cloudflare's 300+ edges you hit. The page refreshes itself every 10 seconds. Full decision log in the engine room, source on GitHub.